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Sometime after I was born my dad went out and bought a football and put it in my crib hoping it'd have some sort of effect on who I'd become. The story goes that the next day they checked in on me and the football was deflated and had been pushed into the corner of the crib.

Growing up that football was always in the toybox or closet, still devoid of air and never used. I always remember moving it out of the way to get to some other thing I wanted to play with.

My dad had high hopes for me playing football, but by high-school his genes had barely produced a 105lb. 5'8" pitcher with an OK fast-ball and curve ball that fooled very few (if any). It wasn't exactly what he had hoped for, but I know he was as pleased as hell that I had discovered I liked baseball, and he encouraged me to keep at it and get better.

My parents are those typical good parents. I noticed over the years how they adjusted their desires of what they wanted us to be or do, and celebrated and accepted who we became and wanted to do. I've never had one of them say, "Why can't you be a doctor like so-and-so's son?" or "Why are you wasting your life on the computer?" Instead, they encouraged anything we attempted and supported us like it was their own endeavor. I have memories of my dad leaving work early to be there for the first inning of every game I played, or my mom sewing patches on my sister's "punk rock" denim jacket.

What I'm trying to say is, when Apple did this:

They were not this:

I feel like however our logo turns out today, it's just some desires and wishes about what we'd like our creation to become tomorrow. If we're mindful of who we are, and who we become, our brand will reflect it. And our logo will most definitely change. It has to change. If it doesn't I think we will have become those bad parents who cling to dreams of their kids being something they're not.

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I know I don't talk about work here very much, mainly because I'm so busy*. All my personal projects have been completely abandoned. I don't even feed my cat anymore, I just leave plates in the sink...

Ok, not really, we didn't bring the cat because our new apartment didn't allow them. My loss is my sister's, uh, gain(?).

I see the stupid light at the stupid end of the tunnel on this not stupid project. My fingers hurt**. I have written a lot of code. I'm not going to go into too many details but the phrase that's been in my mind since I started this was "This is going to be the finest stretch of code I've ever written in my life." So far, so good. Unfortunately the rule of fast/good/cheap is proving to be a pain in the ass. Not having a team (including a producer) has been the biggest problem. Days can get completely lost when you're the only HTML Production/Ad-Server guy in the office and you're needed for the day.

I'm also not used to not hitting deadlines, at least not missing them by such a wide margin. I pretty much almost*** teared up in our weekly meeting when I realized I was going to be off about two weeks. And it wasn't just a simple two weeks but a very difficult slog of getting things done while new stuff was coming in. It was just one of those moments where you feel like, "Wow, I have a lot to do."

Also, and this is not to slag my friends at IM, but it's been an incredible amount of fun to work with smart, really smart, people who are good at what they do. These people impress me to no end.

I am quite happy with what we've come up with, although for a few months now I've felt like I was trying to push start a locomotive, I now feel like everything is moving far faster than I can keep a handle on. This weekend is going to be fun because it's one of my favorite parts of programming, the run-through and clean things up phase. Those annoying little functions you want to visit again because they could make more sense. Also, commenting and repairing bugs you come across, or expect to happen. I love finding ambiguities in code and clarifying what's being done for whoever should come across it next.

God, I sure did ramble, didn't I? The point of this post was to point to our logo. At least, a direction we're considering. Federated Media Publishing Inc.: New Logo: Your Input Wanted.....

I really need to post more often and release pressure of that posting hose I just let loose. Sorry!

*I used to tell people I was "busy" before. I have to laugh now at what I used to think was busy. :)
** They really do. It's depressing me.
*** Fine! I did. There were witnesses, I can't lie.

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This made my day. Not because Mena thinks she said something dumb, she probably didn't, but because whatever I said had some germ of truth in it and Mena liked it. I say a lot of dumb things, but I say them in front of a small number of people who know that:

  1. I say a lot of dumb things.
  2. Maybe the dumb thing Andre just said should have been phrased differently, and if so then that actually makes some sense.

Anyway, I fret about things I say here (and now about things I say on LJ!) but it's nice knowing that people still get it, however poorly worded.

Also, thank god I don't have more than the 100 or so readers who keep visiting my site. I can't imagine what it would be like if things were scrutinized as much as they are on the more popular sites.

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The best weblogs are the ones in everyone's "drafts" folder. So much of what I used to write and like to write about won't work today.

I heard a "blogger" on NPR this morning, totally unprepared and ineffective, trying to make arguments by doing this trick where she would just repeat her beliefs or start down one path and then simply stop, ask the moderator and the other people to FORGET WHAT SHE HAD JUST SAID and then stated her beliefs again, ignoring the question entirely. It was a lot of fun listening to her make a fool of herself and edit her little blog entry in real-time, but I really didn't get why she was so scared of a celibate gay man and not a practicing pedophile.

Webloggers of 1999 don't equal bloggers in 2005. I really need to accept it and move on. I recently found out that a few people had migrated to LiveJournal (yes, LiveJournal. Really!) because they could set controls on who could read and have more freedom to write about things they didn't want etched in Google for eternity.

I was kind of shocked when saw the names of people who were on it. It's like when you're wandering around the party thinking people had gone home and then you find them all in the back-room smoking pot and giggling at a television that isn't even on.

Anyway, I guess I've been wandering around the party these days. All the people I used to read didn't get boring, they just found someplace else to hang out (and didn't tell me! jerks).

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A lot of buzzing going on with that phrase Web2.0. It's a fine phrase. It's like Ajax, easier to say than XMLHTTPRequest Object and it provides some context for a conversation. But like Ajax, it's the same story as before: people like to get excited about new things, even if those new things are just the same old things synthesized or standardized in a new way.

Whatever you want to call it, whatever you think it means, I know one thing: the people who actually build stuff win this round. I could not be happier for Andy, Leonard, and Gordon. The right people got the right reward for doing it the way it's supposed to be done.

When I lived in LA we used to meet up once a week for a "geek dinner" where we'd get a chance to talk about web topics, ideas for apps, or see what cool gadget Leonard just got from Asia that we wouldn't see in our stores for 5 years.

Andy's original idea for our "geek dinners" was based around the famous Pho mailing-list meetings that would happen in Berkeley. His work on Upcoming back then, I think, was prompted by the idea of our dinnners, and how others would want to meet up in a similar way. We always had a problem choosing where to eat, and we'd invariably end up at the noodle place followed by boba.

While Upcoming evolved into something almost entirely different, it's a clear example of how things should work. You need something. You build it for yourself, you build it for others. You share it, refine it, and get rewarded for it.

That's every version of Web in my book.

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